I've often wanted to publicly thank all of the people who have made a difference in my life. Many times we think that to make a difference we have to do some dramatic, spectacular thing. And when we have this mindset, it's easy to not try because we either don't have the resources, or don't have the time, or we don't have (fill in the blank).
But I've been lucky enough to be surrounded by people who live life in such a way that they make a difference just by their every day actions. Nothing special (in their eyes) but extremely special in mine. I hope by sharing these examples that someone else will be inspired to see daily life as a way to make a difference.
My first Make a Difference Tribute goes to my high school friends: Kerry Brashears, Jeff Hoffnagle, Lonnie Rudisill, Mike Marksberry, Bob Topper, and Dave Karchnak.
Today my wife and I were talking about a school assignment that didn't get a good grade. Grades are real important to her, and maybe somewhat important to me (did you do your best is all I want). The discussion led me to recall an incident from my 8th grade year of school. I had a history test, but hadn't studied, so I stayed home from school. Upon returning the teacher gave me some time and then told me that I had to take the test in study hall or get a zero. So I took it - got a bad grade - and ended up with a D for the marking period. I was in one of the higher groups that year, but I put forth almost no effort. I got a C in Algebra, but very good at math. I just didn't try. I was on my way to just wondering aimlessly through school, would get a job, work, live the same impoverished life in which I grew up. That summer we moved.
The move put me in a new school for 9th grade. I only knew one other person in 9th grade, Rob, who moved the same summer and ended up in the same school. I don't recall us having many classes together, so except for lunch, I had to make new friends. Mike, Bob, and Dave were in most of my classes. And we became friends. We played baseball together after school at Peter Street Elementary...until the policeman chased us off the field because we were too big for that small field. Anyway, these new friends cared about things...they did their best (mostly) at school, they played sports, they came from families that worked for the things they had. They were my first real models of normal life. They became my friends.
That year I also had health class with Kerry, Jeff, and Lonnie, and they too fit the same model. They played baseball, liked sports, and by the end of 9th grade, instead of drifting along in life I had a core group of friends who had purpose in life. As we went through the next three years of school, my family moved several times. I could have gone to two other schools but circumstances allowed me to stay at the same school. And so while my home life was often crowded (six kids, often 5 rooms), my friends would have me over to their houses to play baseball games and whatever.
I remember one time when Mike came to my house to see if I wanted to play basketball with some of the guys. (He had his license, I did not, and our phone was probably disconnected at the time.) He didn't have to go out of his way to invite me, but he did. There was another time when an upper classman football player was making fun of the clothing I was wearing (it was a terrible collection of mismatched, style-less threads)...and Mike told him to stop, and shared that I was a good guy, etc.
Several years later, when I was in college, it was Christmas (1983, I think). We didn't have a lot of money, and my brothers were not likely to get very much in terms of presents. Jeff, Lonnie, and Jeff's brother Scott took the liberty to go through their old toys and games and bring them over for my brothers so that they would have "new" things to play with that Christmas. My brothers still talk about that to this day.
I could go on, but the point is made. These guys looked beyond my circumstances. They accepted me despite my welfare clothing. They didn't care that my family's house was a disaster, or any of those surface things. They accepted me into their circle and show love to me and my family in so many unselfish ways.
I went to college with Jeff and Kerry. They arrived on campus with confidence, I did not. So many times they would include me in their activities (we were in different dorms, different parts of campus). I think back to that 8th grade year...and "I went to college". How unlikely, save for a small group of guys who made a difference.
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